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A joke that I thought was rather good...

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian) an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 Africans all from different African countries walk into a fine restaurant...

 

 

The maître d' scrutinizes the group one by one and says "Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai."

 

 

:D

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bogred 2

 

wheres borgred

 

he aint got broadband in yet so hes off for a while

oh and that wasnt a joke it was a poor attempt at humour at the very best ;)

please stick to your day job alex your very good at that :D

Edited by bikerscum69

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he aint got broadband in yet so hes off for a while

oh and that wasnt a joke it was a poor attempt at humour at the very best ;)

please stick to your day job alex your very good at that :D

 

;)

 

I take it the Borg got moved ok then?

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3.gif

 

I take it the Borg got moved ok then?

 

yes mate he did by the sound of it but with no broadband i bet hes going stir crazy

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i know, it was humor from me too, normal the borg says thing like that lol,

 

he is due back any time, there maybe a problem though, he may have less hair and no fingers left from chewing hi nails down to his wrists,

 

i knows it d day anytime soon, net was due on about now, ill have to give him a ring and see how he is doing

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WHICH WOULD U CHOOSE? CAKE OR BED?????

 

 

 

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

 

 

“HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING

 

FOR WEEKS NOWâ€

 

 

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY;

 

 

“FIX THE LIGHT, NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE AN ELECTRICIANS LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!â€

 

 

THE WIFE ASKS,

 

 

“WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.â€

 

 

TO WHICH HE REPLIED,

 

 

“FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE HOTPOINT WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.â€

 

 

FINE, SHE SAYS,

 

 

“THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR?†THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK.â€

 

 

“I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX THE STEPSâ€, HE SAYS. “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WOODIES DIY WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!! “

 

 

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT. AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

 

 

“HONEYâ€, HE ASKS, “HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?â€

 

 

SHE SAID,

 

 

“WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED.JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.â€

 

 

HE SAID,

 

 

“SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?â€

 

 

SHE REPLIED,

 

 

“HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE DELIA SMITH WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!â€

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a young lady marry's a egyption prince multimillionaire.

after six months at her mothers house over in england there was a knock at the door.

it was her daughter came back from egypt.

she says what you doing here , daughter replied i have left him mother all he wants to do is give it me up the bum ,her mother says yes that what they do over there its there way of sex ,

daughter says yes but when i met him my bum hole was size of a 5p coin and now its thew size of a 50p coin.

mother says - so your gonna give all those millions up for 45p :)

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newly wedded couple been on honeymoon .

came back home and mother says to daughter how was the sex ,daughter says mother he wouldn't touch me down there his mother as told him it as teeth in there.

mother says go home get all the sexy gear on open your legs and let him have a look inside .

daughter says i can't mam i am on my period.

even better says mother tell him you have had your teeth out .

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